Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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