how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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