My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Go christen that room with your naked body.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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