How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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