i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
