I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
