Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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