Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
