never play flip cup with pint glasses
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
