i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
