I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
