i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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