Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
