Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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