at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
