My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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