You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
