The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
