like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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