i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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