I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
