yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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