I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the day after is always just damage control
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
