did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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