Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
