I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
