I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
