She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
