I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
