Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
