I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
