i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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