Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
