that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
