Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
