she was so not down for the gang bang
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
