I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
