he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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