i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
