Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
