24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
MIDGETS
????
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
