I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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