She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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