yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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