I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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