So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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