The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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