(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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