I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
