ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
